I had a rare day without teen or work, and the weather happened to be stunning. I soaked up the sun's energy, meditating on a bench, absorbing gratitude in every winter-indoor skin cell and every pore.
In my spiritual practice, I have been working with removing armor from my heart, embracing huge sadness I experience instead of turning away from it or fearing I should be medicated. This day was like that - spontaneous great sadness welling up while at the same time fully holding the beauty and sun.
In the dark of evening, these words from Pema Chodron's "The Wisdom of No Escape" (Chapter 14) seemed to leap off the page directly to me.
"Our whole life could be a ritual. We could learn to stop when the sun goes down and when the sun comes up. We could learn to listen to the wind; we could learn to notice that it's raining or snowing or hailing or calm. We could reconnect with the weather that is ourselves, and we could realize that it's sad. The sadder it is, the vaster it is, and the vaster it is, the more our heart opens. We can stop thinking that good practice is when it's smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it's rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea."
The practice here (both meditation and living life) is to eventually be able to understand and care for one's own suffering so thoroughly that the heart overcomes any fear of opening to another's suffering. Making one's own heart of service to other beings. A beautiful capacity I one day hope to have.
HAPPENING WITH HEALING OUTDOORS
- Bye for now: I will be taking a 3-month break from posting here. My Mama Bear parental persona is taking over, and it is evident I will need to work 60 hours/week over this time in order to have enough funds to be able to move my daughter and myself by July to an as-yet unknown rental home.
- One individual has expressed consistent interest in registering for Healing Outdoors walks in the woods. To that end, I will update the Offerings registration form on this site to allow people to sign up for Saturdays in July, August, and September 2015 - the hottest months when a walk in the cool woods is welcome! Due to the planning, coordination and travel time involved, I am unable to lead walks for less than 3 people at a time.